Heather Corinna

Today I want to briefly address the way that the walks have been visually represented in the media and by many bloggers writing about them, especially those who have been nonsupportive or critical. In a word, they have frequently been represented by photographs which expressly stated or just implied they represent what people at the walks looked like as a whole, and have been anywhere from just incorrect to exceptionally dishonest in those assertions or implications. Because as far as I can tell, the images that keep getting picked aren’t those which are most representative of the protests as a whole, but which are most representative of what a given person either found most provocative or most interesting. Or, which best represent their reasons for nonsupport or mockery.

I want to tell you something very personal about me. Not because I want to. I really don’t want to. But I’m going to do it anyway. It’s one of those things where even though it’s incredibly uncomfortable for me, I feel like sharing despite my discomfort might be able to make a positive difference…

We’re so very excited to kick off this series today which features some of the stories and photographs from “I’ll Show You Mine”, a book by Wrenna Robertson and photographer Katie Huisman, and by all of the women featured in the book, collectively. When I was a very young child, I remember really, really loving my vagina. The smell and sight of it made me feel comfortable and at home, and I was very vocal about how proud I was to be a girl. When I was still young and cute enough for adults to find me benign and non-threatening, I’d boast at length about my genitalia, describing its structure in detail - even feeling it was far superior to the junk of the boys around me.

If you’ve been reading Scarleteen for a while, you might already know that for many years now, we’ve heard from a good deal of young women who are deeply ashamed of and disgusted by these parts of their own bodies. We take this very seriously, and have always wanted to do everything we could to try and help dispel all kinds of body shame or hatred, including that of the vulva. Over the next couple of months, we’re going to go ahead and take the risk of publishing some photos of real-person vulvas, because we’ve found something we think is beautifully done, very much needed, and that we think can be of great benefit to many of our readers, whether they have vulvas themselves or not.

I think you just said two things you could tell him right there. “I am very uneasy about this,” or “I am very uneasy about this because I have been sexually abused.” Whichever you feel most comfortable with, both of those things are fine things to say, things I think we should be able to say with…

In my experience it feels like there are two crowds, those who are ‘cool’ and have frequent sexual activity, hookups etc both in and out of relationships (or at least portray themselves as doing so) and those who are ‘pure’ who have decided at this point to abstain from sex until marriage, who are frequently Christian or otherwise religious. I think there’s pressure to fit into one of those groups, either to go out and have lots of sex or to not have sex at all.

Here in the hemisphere I live in, we’re into the swing of summer. Ah, summer, my personal favorite season. I love the sun, the warmth, everything blooming, the energy, the spirit of the season. It’s also the time of year when we tend to see the most new users coming to us because they’re in a crisis or a panic, or are just really, really feeling down in the dumps. We know that the idea of summer as a happy, carefree time for all young people doesn’t square with the reality that for plenty, it’s not, whether that’s about tough stuff happening, or about having experiences that aren’t negative, but are just super-challenging. With that in mind, here are a few tips and things to think about as you get into (or grapple with) your summer groove:

I don’t think a relationship can be ruined by a person not having the kind of sexual responses, sexual feelings, desires or sexuality a partner wants. Unless. Let’s say people in a relationship with those things going on won’t accept that that person, try as they might (or not, if they don’t want to…

I’m so sorry that this is how you have been feeling about yourself, and that you’re hurting so badly and feeling so fearful of yourself. I’m beyond sorry to hear that you hate yourself. Those are all terrible, debilitating ways for someone to feel. But I’m very glad that you’ve asked me for help…

Here’s the short answer: personally, what I call it is just being alive. The world can be a really beautiful place, and so can all of the people in it. When we’re observant, open, and not feeling horribly bitter or distraught about ourselves or our world, we tend to notice and appreciate beauty…